Jan 29, 2009
1. Who cares about the Native Americans? The Esq and I had a long conversation about this the other day, and if a Native American tribe dwindled down to nothing (as so many of them do), would you even know? Would you care? There's a major conundrum around how they live versus how the world works. Where are the role models? Sherman Alexie can't be the only one. I'm slightly concerned and very befuddled. Manthony should have something good to say about this. (I care!)
2. If a person wants or files for divorce, why are they automatically at fault? I lucked out, because both my ex-husband and I wanted out at the same time, but I have two separate friends going through the divorce process, and it's really fucked up. Both of them were in unhealthy, unhappy relationships, and so they made the decision to separate. And because they raised their hands first, they're the jerky assholes--even though their partners were just as unhappy (it seemed). Here's what I know about relationships: it takes two to make it work, and two to break it. Unfortunately for my buddies, that isn't the case--they're just The Bad Guy/Whorish Gal. Two people who are smart, funny, kind--GOOD PEOPLE--and all of a sudden, they're fuckoffs. People who have known them for years are bagging on them, as though it's any of their business. I feel bad for my friends; it's hard enough getting divorced, so it must be twice as hard having to constantly defend yourself against people who used to be your family or friends--especially when they appoint themselves as your personal Judge and Jury.
***Addendum: Since people seem to think I'm WAY OFF BASE here--thanks for the defensive, finger-pointy comments, Friends & Family of The Opposing Teams (at least, that's what it feels like)--I'm going to reveal that this diatribe of mine came after receiving six emails, eight phone calls, four Facebook messages, three G-Chat instant messages, and two directly-at-my-face interactions (over the space of 48 hours), most of them calling my almost-divorced girlfriend a whore, and my cousin an irresponsible father with an alcohol problem. This last sentence was quoted to me four separate times--with the SAME EXACT WORDING--which makes me wonder where they got their information from. Probably from another 'concerned party.' Right.
These things were said by people who hadn't really spoken to either of my friends--they were just people "concerned" about the welfare of their Other Friends (ie; the spouses of said girlfriend and cousin). So I was feeling a little DEFENSIVE. To which I respond with a fat middle finger. Oh, it's rude and hideous for ME to defend my friends, but when YOU do it, it's NOBLE. When YOU defend your friend, it's because you're right. Because you're just looking out for your friends, but me, I'm just basking in their failures, right? I'm just sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. So I ask you: what the fuck were YOU guys doing? FUCK. YOU. Just because I'm feeling defensive of my long-time friends (family, even), does not make me a bad person, or even misguided in any way. It just makes me a person with an opinion, and a heavy, confused heart. This is where I deal with that stuff. If YOU can't deal, FUCKING LEAVE.
Comment moderation has been turned off--I'm done with this post, completely done, and would like to move forward; I considered taking the post completely down, but this is a good lesson for me. Good luck to the couples in question, I hope you come to a decision with compassion and grace, which is what I've been telling my friends to do thus far. Thank you for your comments. PS: you should really appreciate your thumbs more.
3. Do we really appreciate our thumbs? Discuss.
I'm heading to the Eastside on a quest for new glasses with my mom--yes, I understand that contacts are lighter, easier, cheaper. I just appreciate having facial armor.