Jan 18, 2009
Photo: This is the shoe section of Mariah Carey's gratuitous closet; I can only imagine how many rooms she has for her teeny-tiny whoreshorts and her itsy-bitsy hookertops. This is not the closet of my dreams, but at least it's organized (BY HER STAFF).
The word 'negro' was hurled at me in one of the comments I deleted; my neighbor and I laughed about that for a long time. Well, he was horrified at first, but then--in a moment of clarity--he said, "I guess you can't write about skull-fucking and how God is dead and expect a key to the city." I had to agree. That was probably one of the most insightful things he's ever said, but even so: negro?! RUDE. If you're going to be racist, at least be accurate about where I'm from. Samoan people are generally known for giving birth, playing football, and converting to Mormonism, so you can start with those juicy details and insult me with puissance from now on--instead of sounding like an uneducated honky with no working teeth.
Remember when I tried organizing my home, only to decide that arson might be more effective? Well, it's time to organize FOR REALS now. My parents are systematically doing their home, and the Esq's parents are cleaning out their garage after a hundred years, which is truly inspiring; getting rid of unnecessary *stuff* is so RELIEVING (see also: hard work and boring). I would just like to know where my socks are, or where my life is hiding. Allison, of www.simplifyorganization.com, is my professional motivator in this endeavor. She came over and had a pow-wow with my closets, getting me all pumped up to seize the moment and simplify my life--and then she left, leaving me to open a bag of Doritos and fall down a time warp on Facebook. Now I'm hitting it hard today, since it's a beautiful day out, and my apartment is too nice to look like utter shite.
But first, a mid-morning nap.