Dec 19, 2008
Sorry, guys, but today is kind of a re-post, which only affects the people who've been reading since the old Myspace blog. My cell phone decided to crap on my face today, and so I need to go take care of it--but wait, there's more! Thanks to the icy weather conditions, I will be walking to the nearest Sprint store, or taking a bus that will inevitably fall off a cliff. Of course I have no winter coat, scarf, shoes, or hat (the Esq has the hat today, we're sharing), so that's incredibly helpful. Hey, I'm fucking broke and unemployed, so there's no money for these things, and usually no reason to go outside of my apartment. On the bright side, two people told me secrets this week that I shouldn't really know--and that's freaking me out on many different levels. I threw a uterus-sized tantrum this morning, and I'm preparing for another one this afternoon; I'm a cold mess today.
I received an email from an old high school "friend", whom I haven't seen since graduation. The email read like my worst nightmare--the elements of her life, it seems, are what I've been avoiding my whole life (multiple cats, a best friend in Jesus, kids to homeschool, and country crafts)--and she asked me somewhat pointless questions (or maybe 'unanswerable'). 'What have you been up to for the past 14 years?' was one of my favorites, right next to 'What church do you attend in Seattle' and 'How many cats do you have?' 'Have you discovered the fun in scrapbooking yet?' was my very favorite one, because HAVE I EVER.
I'm okay with people finding me on Facebook now, mostly because I can ignore them if I choose. And I don't mind the 'What have you been up to?' questions, because I genuinely want to know what they're doing, too. But to summarize in a Facebook email all the things I've done in the past 14 years seems stupid, because wouldn't the first thing on the list be, "Kept the people who are closest to me in the loop about my daily life"? And sorry, you weren't on that list.
I was asked the same question a while back, and I actually answered it in an old blog posting. The answers haven't changed, so I'm re-posting it for the people who keep on asking:
What has Snotty been doing for the past 14 years?
*I did a lot of drugs, and it was probably fun but I don't remember.
*I shacked up with a bunch of unworthy buttholes with sketchy employment situations.
*I had baby mama drama and moved away from my offspring.
*I went to beauty school, moved to Seattle, and went to rehab, all in the same fruitful year.
*I had a string of crappy jobs that didn't pay the bills.
*I buried myself in an Everest-like mountain of debt.
*I started college nineteen times only to drop out later.
*I found a cat and then, because he was unlovable and terrible, gave him away.
*I did the same thing with my ex-husband.
*I moved 500 times.
*I created shallow friendships with idiotic, self-involved people.
*I gained 60 pounds through a dedicated program of constant carb overload.
*I did a lot of emo eye-rolling.
*I went to a Scissor Sisters concert.
*I bought some clothes in varying sizes.
*My grandparents died.
*I saw scat porn for the first time.
*Sean Nelson gave me his record player.
*I met a nice guy named Justin.
*I started a blog.
*I learned to love old school country music.
*I re-discovered Dr. Mario.
*I found I have a thing for robots.
*I voted for Barack Obama.
Other than that, though, nothing much has happened in the last 14 years. But thanks for asking.