First off, two of your favorite people were born today: recently-scandalized Illinois governor, Rod Blagojevich, who apparently does have a price, and the adorably big-boned Cosby twink and former Cheetah girl, Raven-Symone of Nickelodeon's 'That's So Raven!' Otis Redding died in a plane crash, 41 years ago today, as did Damon Runyon (from cancer), a journalist whose short stories inspired my favorite musical, Guys and Dolls. Ironically, the Dow Jones hit a record of 3740.67 on December 10, 1993 (eww, I was 16), and the second part of Hitler's Mein Kampf was published on this day in 1926 (squee!).
This is but a small slice of today's date in history; I aim to make it sweeter, while also making it salty--because today's post is all about BACON.
"Oh, Snotty," you cry, "not ANOTHER post about bacon. Surely you can't love bacon that much?!" Questions like that make me want to kill your family members; surely you don't love them at all?!
I found some bacon-related products that brought the spirit of Christmas back into my heart, and it's all thanks to Etsy. Check out my favorites:
I love you, too, bacon! Bacon is always so thoughtful. These cards are available at SweetMeats.
One small step for man, one giant leap for bacon. More bacon prints at the MrToastStore.
Thanks to the awesomely bad movie, 9 1/2 Weeks, I'll never bring food into the bedroom--but I certainly don't mind wearing it. This yummy BLT necklace can be found at peachblock's shop.
I love pins and magnets, because they're like tiny works of art that go on your refrigerators or bags, and yet when I inevitably lose them, I'm only down fifty cents. Get your own to lose at KungFuCowgirl.
Bacon appreciation needs no teeth, only recognition; finally that screaming pile of baby can be useful to you. Make them the immobile advertisements you've always dreamed of, with this bacon onesie, found at tater tuts.
Trying to impress the boss at work? Hoping for a bigger bonus, or maybe even a raise? Then look no further! This Meat Grinder Screenprinted Pork Necktie is a must for any half-blind pseudo-professional. Visit the toybreaker shop for more amazing options.
Nothing is better for a diet than crocheted fattening breakfast foods, as seen at NeedleNoodle.
I had to include this, because it's totally disgusting--yes, the plate of bloody pig stumps is gross, but the product description by the artist is even worse:
'Severed pigs feet dinner plate:'
'This plate is perfect for your favorite carnivore, vegetarian, even vegan! This is a handthrown porcelain plate decorated with handpainted underglaze pictures of the cutest chopped off pig's feet... complete with bloody stumps!'
I know a lot of carnivores, a bunch of vegetarians, and a handful of vegans--and this doesn't seem like the kind of plate any of them would want to eat from. I wouldn't even eat BACON from this plate; it's just too bloody, and for that matter, too stumpy. But I do wonder what the artistic thought process was like. 'I'm feeling really creative today... I'm totally going to "think out of the box". What is there a need for?... hmmm.... well, everyone knows there's a shocking lack of dinnerware featuring severed animal body parts... and today, I'M GOING TO FILL THAT NEED!' Bleh. Her entire Etsy shop is filled with this stuff; it's very, very
Dress your boobs in breakfast every day with this sizzling scarf from kungfumonkeyrobot. You won't be cold or sorry.
Don't forget to tip your bacon; Seacrest, OUT.