Oct 21, 2008
Above: Some people consider this 'potential'.
It's too quiet here. In my office, in my home. It's really insular in my apartment; all I can hear is the sound of my computer humming, which just barely covers the sound of my potential dying. I've never been this silent--or this bored--in my entire life. Yesterday I didn't speak for hours, and I felt like Helen Keller. How did she do it? It's boring because I'm my own company, and as far as that goes, I suck.
I'm sick of looking for jobs I don't want. I'm sick of applying for jobs that I don't want. I'm tired of crafting cover letters for jobs I don't even want to be offered. It's not that I don't want to work, but I'm afflicted with what Manthony calls "being American": I want the perfect job. Not like a DREAM JOB--[internet fame, book deal, Oprah]--but something perfect that pays the bills while I go after said dream (of which there are many, many more).
Let me just describe the perfect job for me, in this very moment: Pays good. Not a TON, but good enough. Health insurance: this is a dealbreaker. No benefits, no thanks. Weekends: I hate working weekends--everyone does. But I've worked weekends for the past ten years, so I think I've earned at least ONE weekend day off. Sundays, then. And, to quote my brother's new girlfriend, "I'm not down with bitchass-ness", so the people I work with should be cool; 'merely cordial' is also fine by me. I'd like to walk to work, or at least have a short commute, since I don't drive/have a car, so all jobs on the Eastside are dead to me. And I'd like to have three days off a week. I would also like a $50,000 pay increase after two months of work and a boob job, but I don't see those things happening, either.
I know, I know, I should focus on being realistic: I don't need a boob job. Maybe I should have said 'boob lift'. You know, like how they emergency-airlift the barely-living to Harborview Medical Center; this is how I imagine the procedure going.
Anyways, the Esq went back to work today and I am doing my darndest to emulate him. But first: Top Ramen, the Breakfast of Champions.
[RADWORDS]: BOOB JOB, DREAM JOB, OPRAH, HELEN KELLER, DYING.