Oct 14, 2008

Piece of Shit Cake


















Photo: I think the title says it all.

First off, this is not my fault. More importantly, this is your fault. I'M TALKING TO YOU, BLOGGER.COM. It's not like my layout or design was anything I wanted--this is something I've been actively trying to change--but thanks for dumping all of my sidebar information and making it impossible to upload an XML template. Also helpful: making my old template obsolete so I couldn't upload the one I'd saved. Even more helpful: the hyper-awake sobriety that accompanies my ADHD at three in the morning.

What have I been doing for the past five hours? Not much--just trying to MASTER THE INTERNET and all of its' languages. PIECE OF CAKE. At first I was confident: "C'mon, HTML, let's grab some text and git 'er done!" Then, in Hour Two, I was like, "Hmmm...XML, WTF, okay, no problem." The frustrated, sleep-deprived weeping started around Hour Four, when the sun began to rise and I was stuck in a Java Script time warp... I don't know Java, and I don't know how it came up, but it is now high on my shit list. Finally, when I realized The Internet had bested me, I wrapped a white flag of surrender around myself and perished. Literally.

I can't figure this out until I get at least an hour of sleep, or until the Esq wakes up in 23856258 hours. Sleeping seems irrelevant when I'm pissed-off and panicking. This is not how I wanted to spend my day sucks.


11 comments:

barbjensen said...

Oh dear! I don't have a single witty thing to say, but you do have my sympathy. Java is hard.

Bananasana said...

Your blog seems to be oscillating- It looked janky just a minute ago, and I panicked and checked my crib, seeing if MY baby was OK. It was.....and now, seconds later so seems yours (your figurative baby that is.) Hope it's all patched over....

matt said...

The best thing about this is that you are practically sobbing into the keyboard, and then His Lawyerness leaves this eeny-meeny note saying it's all fixed.
Mad LOLs.

I all seriousness though, I can totally relate. I can't count how many times I've considered chucking my laptop into a pagan-size bonfire because of blogger snarkily disobeying my whims. And I know less html than you...

LilRed said...

Maybe you should ask Elizabeth what to do:

http://www.ask-elizabeth.com/#

Bananasana said...

His Lawyerness? Is that me? Didn't say it was all fixed, just that it looked fixed for a second, trying to be hopeful. I remember now why I don't comment....

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Barb, thank you for commenting--Java isn't hard... FOR PROGRAMMERS. Sadly, I'm not one of those, and neither is your nephew. I'm trying to figure out how this is HIS fault, but he was sleeping pretty much the whole time. Jerk.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Bananasana, 'His Lawyerness' would be the Esq (hence the tiny note at the end of the post)--this blog will be going through some Exorcist-like changes today, so don't get attached to any formats; this is just temporary. I like your blog layout, I saw something like it last night when I was going through 84,000 templates.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Matt, at least you have a laptop. UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Lil Red: I hate you. But I LOLed for the first time in hours. God, I hate that woman's website, AND YET I LOVE IT YES I DO I LOVE IT, DO YOU HEAR ME WORLD.

I know what 'Elizabeth' would do: kick Cristal Connors down the stairs in Showgirls, and then film the stupidest sex scene ever with Kyle McLaughlin. Am I close?

matt said...

I just realized that your myspace is also fucked up (I failed to connect the two earlier, for which you may (you will anyway, so I'll just give permission) mock me).

*pauses to be mocked*

Do you think the two problems could have been caused by a malicious ROBOTIC entity within the World Wide Web whi took umbrage at your manual typewriter comment?

On the other hand, go emo, go.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

*pauses to mock you*

Seriously. My website tanked, the Myspace layout got jacked, and I hate the new Facebook. Thank God I have Twitter. *hugs Twitter tightly*

I don't think the WWW takes umbrage with anyone, really; it's too busy downloading porn.