Aug 20, 2008

House Elf Liberation Front

Photo: Whether it says 'FREEDOM' or 'FREE DON', I totally agree.

I'm getting pretty good at writing resignation letters; when I said I wanted to be a writer, that's not what I had in mind. I'm either turning into the girl who can't hold a job, the girl who has unrealistic expectations of the working world, or the girl who doesn't want to work, period. If I had to wager a guess, I'd go with D) All of the above.

I quit my job today, like full-on quit. My resignation letter was pleasant, honest, and final; I don't really want to hear from them or do an exit interview. I just exited as fast as I possibly could--why would I want to prolong it? In the interest of self-assessment, here are some of the reasons I left, lickety-split: my body, mind, and bank account couldn't handle it anymore. I also had the distinct feeling I was staying so I wouldn't disappoint my boss--"oh no, they might not like me!"--which is ridiculous. Men are always so much better at this; they know how to keep professional stuff from becoming personal. I wish I could grow a pair and be all LOOK BITCH IT'S BIDNESS, but the balls I grew this summer melted in the heat last week. I was hoping I could man up and do it in person, but I knew they'd talk me out of it; I have a hard time saying no. So I'm ungainfully unemployed again.

Back to the Craigslist drawing board. I'm no longer licensed as a manicurist, because I don't want to be licensed as a manicurist--my nail tech days are OVAH. Bring me your boring barista jobs, an average bookstore gig, an entry-level receptionist position...I don't care what I do, as long as there are BENEFITS. You know, Health Insurance? I could desperately use Vision and Dental, as well. I have reached an age where benefits are more important than the salary; I'm way behind on everything in the health department.

I would also give my left arm for a schedule that allows for me having a relationship, thanks. Not having any days off with the Esq was taking a toll. My son and the Esq are my favorite part of the week, and we never saw each other--a couple of hours here, an afternoon there, but it wasn't enough. It also sucks working every weekend until late in the evening; I would always arrive at the party after everyone was hammered. Not a fun scenario, although it was perfect for taking blackmail photos for Facebook; too bad I don't know any future pageant queens.

The point is: I'm liberated. Hopefully this time I will figure something out that does not include the spa industry, because I'm sick of it. Unless it's in Switzerland... then I might change my mind.

I think I'm going to be a house-elf for a week; Harry Potter (and Buttercup) would be proud.


Manthony said...

"Snotty" does sound a little bit like "Dobby."

Snotty McSnotterson said...


Matt said...

On the other hand, WHEN THE DEMOCRATS WIN, they have promised us the health care. Wasn't Obama's big thing versus Hil' a national health plan? Maybe that was Edwards' penis--I mean, John Edwards...

Anyway, wouldn't it be nice to just be able to take a fucking job and not have a heart attack stressing out about what happens if you have a heart attack?

*feels tightness in chest*
*feels numbness in arm*
*feels McCain hate*

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Well, I hope the Dems win, but I still think it will take ahundredthousandyears to clean up the mess that GWB is leaving behind. I don't plan on living that long.

Yes, I hate having heart attacks about work. Or at work.

konichiwa, bitches. said...

i'm doing a ton of justifying to myself right now for the fact that I'm about to be gainfully unemployed, so I feel you. Teaching English might be good money but at this point I'd rather make 8 euro an hour washing dishes.

I always thought working in a spa would be nice and relaxing, that you get big tips from bougie Stepford wives, and take home all sorts of free crap? But when you think you're staying to make your boss, basically a stranger, happy, I guess it really IS time to move on.

Best of luck!

Erin said...

See, now I'm jealous. I'm counting the days when I can say adios to the spa industry. I'm over it and ready to bolt for the hills of freedom and weekends off.

Enjoy your freedom, woman.

Buttercup said...

I am proud! Be a good house elf! S.P.E.W.!

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Thanks, you guys. The spa industry is filled with arseholes, just like any other industry; I'm just looking to meet a new brand of asshole, I guess. Here's hoping!


Anonymous said...

try the seattle times web site chan said, there are always jobs and they all have benifits, paid for you! check it out yo. and the dems aren't going to win if obama is going to fuck it up for us with all his promises.--jenny

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Every president in history has fucked up in some way or another, and made promises he couldn't keep... every single one. Hillary would have just been the first WOMAN to do that, although it would have been interesting. There's no perfect candidate, but there's certainly the complete wrong candidate, which is Old Ass McCain.

Checked ST and didn't see anything open that I could apply for... if Shan has something specific in mind, tell her to email me. And thanks for the tip! :)

WenigGluckliches said...

*sigh* Sleep late. Watch television. Only leave the bed to pee and eat and blog.

You're just missing the cabana boy.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Nah, I've already got a cabana boy :) He's pretty white and corporate, as cabana boys go, but I'm pretty fond of him.

I have taken your comment as a To-Do list. I won't let you down.

FreNeTic said...

Nice way to round out Summer. Just take it easy, I say.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

'Tis! I'm going to be a DIY QUEEN.