May 26, 2008

Out With the Old

Photo: Talk to the hands, because I could care less.











It feels weird/good to be up at the crack of dawn, deleting people from my life and talking myself into doing dishes. I didn't have to talk myself into erasing my former friends (from social networking sites, the blog, my cell phone, email, photos, the works), but doing the dishes is awful. Truly, truly awful. Sometimes you need to purge, sometimes you need to clean; today, I have to do both.

Sometimes I want to throw out all of my dirty dishes and go buy nicer, cleaner ones; I feel the same way about my friends. I'm feeling very Christopher Robin about my loved ones today. I can't tell who is outgrowing whom, but it's happening, and I'm rolling with it. I think that's one of the best benefits we have as humans: we choose our friends, our support team. We get to hand-pick the people who will be there at our birthday parties, graduations, weddings, births, and deaths. We get to choose, but I still think of it as a privilege; I think of my friendship as a privilege, and also feel a great deal of pride when someone chooses me. I'm lucky to have picked the best people, and to have known real friendship. But sometimes, you have to un-pick friends for myriad reasons, and today was that day.

I would try to work in the phrase 'freedom from tyranny' in here somewhere, but it's early, and there are dishes to be done.

3 comments:

barbjensen said...

Hi snotty. I 'stumbled' your blog just now; wondering why i was the first to do so...
Such good writing you have here, really a good read!
Nice meeting you too, I'm sure our paths will cross again.
Oh, and I subscribed :)

Michelle Auer said...

I feel the same way about my laundry as you do your dishes right about now. My closet looks like it has some sort of stomach flu and has vomited clothes all over the bedroom floor. I really should spend some time on it, but I'm more tempted to just toss them all and start over.
I cleaned my house of toxic friends about two years ago. It was both really hard (I told you about some of that drama when I saw you at the bar) and really liberating. You don't realize how much of other people's stress you take on until it is removed form your life. Now that I am minus the three biggest vampires that used to be in my life, I see my therapist once every couple of months instead of once a week like I had to when I knew them. That says a lot I think.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Thank you so much for your comment--it's nice to know I'm not the only one out there. It still feels really *selfish* or rude or something--but I'm too old to play games with people. It was a healthy move, but a hard one.

And by the way, the pile of laundry in my bedroom is as tall as me. Something has to give!