May 2, 2008

Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine

Photo: Bjork's army.

The question of the day:

What makes Japanese people so fearless about their hair?

I was at Ten Pachi yesterday, my favorite salon of the moment, sitting in Manthony's Haircut Moral Support section while he took the plunge and cut his hair. He didn't end up cutting much length, but the overall shape made him look super ferosh. Anyways, the first couple of times I went there, I was impressed by the design and feel of the place. An added bonus: the music
was fantastic. But the last few times I've been in, there's been a different feel to the place--nothing bad, it was just like I'd finally opened my eyes in the salon. When I finally sat down and thought about it--the key factors to the new vibe, the visual clues they'd left for me, my own gut instincts--I realized why it felt so alien: it was like being in Japan.

And when I say Japan, I mean Bjork's idea of Japan: running naked through a Seussian forest with a giant, anthropomorphic stuffed panda bear, singing songs in a dead language to a field of red unicorns on crack .... and Wayne Coyne *swoon* has to be in there somewhere, leading the unicorn army, maybe, or appearing as a wood nymph. Having tea and eating kitties, you know Bjork. It's always something with her. *meow*

I'm exaggerating. BUT. Each time I go into the salon, it's usually 90% Japanese girls (and some Korean), one out-of-place white guy, and me. The white guy is out of the chair in 15 minutes flat; I get a boring trim while waiting for hairstyle inspiration to strike me. There is a sameness to the females who get services there; tiny, silent girls with broad, delicate features, the same ill-fitting skinny jeans that every girl is wearing, a striped t-shirt, a conceptual hoodie, and flat shoes adorned with some sort of unnecessary accessory (of the gold or metallic variety). What sets them apart is the boldness of their hairstyles. Any color, any trend, any shape or size or accessory; it seems like they're the ones willing to go the extra mile in looking unique bizarre. How do they have jobs? Are their clients blind? Do they cover it up if they have a family reunion to attend? Do they all work for fashion boutiques
where green and yellow tiger-striped hair is IN? Is it a just-on-the-weekends thing? And since the hairstyles are so "cutting edge", what's the etiquette for when you see someone with the same original hairstyle? Do you fight? Or do your stuffed panda bears fight? It's so confusing, and I have so many questions.

I have an appointment next Thursday, for a cut and color with Lissy, who I love; I want to do something *wild*, but I think I like boring hair now. Boring, natural-colored hair, yep. Here's my favorite parody of Japanese shows with eye-raping fashion and no point at all:

I want my own panda.


Manthony said...

That was an amazing video. Was that a unicorn-cow at the end on the right? Still adjusting to the hair, but it is much lighter. Which is nice!

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Your hair is like a buttery waterfall now!

Timo said...

uh - you know I love the japanese pussy eaterz.