Nov 12, 2008

The Stranger In Our Midst

While volunteering at my favorite space travel supply company this evening, I met a Mr. Christopher Frizzelle, who you probably won't recognize from Seattle Notables. For those of you new to the scene, Seattle Notables 'celebrates notability in Seattle', which to some (like this writer) looks like not-ability. I think we can all agree that Mr. Frizzelle's not-abilities far outweigh his
actual abilities, as evidenced by his editorial job over at Thank God It's Not the Weekly, or in other words, The Stranger. I joke, of course. Meeting him tonight was a small, cheap thrill--a real Seattle Notable! (again, joking)--in part because of his undeniable frickability (my girlfriends would say "yummy!", while I would go NOM NOM), and also because he reminded me of two important things:

1. I like unicorns and snacks, and someday hope to make those two magical things one tasty reality. He was magical, in a way, and tasty in others. If Christopher Frizzelle was a snack, he'd be a really white, really nice, intellectual treat. I, however, would be a messy, chocolate, misshapen thing that melts right away and wastes your money, which is really more an accurate description of my current personality.

2. I've re-committed myself to a possible future threesome with Lindy West and Sarah Vowell. No, I don't know these women. But now that I'm completely without goals and lacking direction, a threesome with these two writing heroes/total strangers/probable heterosexuals has taken full priority. YES WE CAN. (Well, not in California.)

(Sidenote: he was also quite nice, for an editor.)

I hope you'll
join us this weekend in what seems like a pointless, downhill march against inequality in another state that I don't even like, but is actually a march for the equality of people everywhere. I say, allow the gays every right to feel as miserable as I did after my divorce--it's only fair. Gay people are the new blacks! Emancipate, bitches!



Michelle Auer said...

All of my years at The Stranger he was one of my favorites. He reminds me of a young, hotter Harrison Ford.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Good description. I kind of miss younger, hotter Harrison Ford. He was my second older-man crush, right after Paul Newman.

He should feel lucky to be endorsed by the likes of you! :)

Buttercup said...

Unicorn flavored cheezits!!!!!

Snotty McSnotterson said...

You're going to Heaven for that idea. Can they be dipped in bacon?

Manthony said...

Unicorn Cheez-its sound way better than goldfish crackers!

Or what about those "Chicken-in-a-biscuit" crackers? You could have "Unicorn-in-a-Slab-of-Bacon" branded snacks!!!

Snotty McSnotterson said...

I would prefer Sarah Vowell dipped in bacon and served to me by Lindy West on a unicorn platter, if we're writing out Christmas wishlists.

konichiwa, bitches. said...

i don't know what christopher frizelle looks like or how he writes these days, but i remember FUCKING HATING him when he first joined the Stranger, cos I thought he was pretentious and needed to go home to chicago or wherever it was he came from.

just thought you needed a bit of hate to put some sparkle on your page. and this *


those are some lame sparkles, I know. :/

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Aren't they all pretentious at The Stranger? :) One would hope so, with all the self-aggrandizing writing that they do.

I got over hating the writers at The Stranger when I switched to the Seattle Weekly; the turnaround time was just long enough to read through an entire Weekly and have a boredom-induced brain aneurysm.

Nice sparklies! Or, as I like to call them, 'asterisks'.

Joe said...

Frizelle would be SO frickable.. if he weren't strictly into cock & balls & man-smells. Did he give off a straight vibe when you met him (dream on!)? Just curious... Anyway, my old roommate fucked him, or something.*

*unsubstantiated gossip

Snotty McSnotterson said...

If he'd given me a straight vibe, I would have run for the hills. He gave off a... literary vibe. With a tiny side of Hawtness.

konichiwa, bitches. said...

there callt aksterix duh gloop gloop gloop

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Don't you mean 'axterix'? I heard someone say that in the library once. The person in question was not white, in case you were wondering.