Apr 6, 2008

Spear Me the Details

Photo: Watch out, he might get you pregnant.

Magazine quote of the year (so far):

'A pregnant Jamie Lynn Spears celebrated her 17th birthday, with fiancé Casey Aldridge, having dinner at Ruby Tuesday and shopping at Wal-Mart, a source says.'

She's going back to her ancestral roots, just like her sister; Wal-Mart, indeed.

I wonder if there's a Miley Cyrus countdown somewhere on the internet--like a T-minus something-or-other, that monitors and tracks her progression towards becoming a PR nightmare. I don't care who loves Hannah Montana or Miley Cyrus (this is just like the Garth Brooks/Chris Gains fiasco, I knew that we learned nothing as a nation); she just seems like a smug, ugly, untalented, priggish hick to me. I'm glad she's not out there, coke-whoring it up and showing me her locked-down vagina (the way she talks about her faith and virginity makes me want to eat my own face), but come ON. Hannah Montana, Lizzie McGuire (look what that brought us: the underwhelming talents of Hilary and Haylie Duff, or, the Siblings of Snooooore), Zooey Brooks, etc; if I could bring them down, I'd do it with a bow-and-arrow. More aesthetic that way...and romantic, almost. I can practically hear the arrow piercing the shrunken, Hollywood heart of Amanda Bynes. Actually, I kind of like that chipmunk-cheeked weirdo; she was cute in Hairspray.


FreNeTic said...


There's a strange cadence to it, don't you think?

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Alliterations have always been a bit sexy to me, yes.

Manthony said...

God I hate that Miley Cyrus person. SHE's the best that Hollywood could do in offering us teen talent? Blech!