Apr 8, 2008

Mark Twain in Dollywood

Photo: Mark Twain, with his cat, Mark Twain.

Days like today, I just want to grab a good book, throw on some vinyl, and drink hot chocolate.

Books that a day like this might appreciate:

Letters from the Earth (Mark Twain)
Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas (Tom Robbins)
Fires (Raymond Carver)
The Lovely Shall Be Choosers (Robert Frost)
Misadventures in the 213 (Dennis Hensley)
Autobiography of Red (Anne Carson)
The New Kings of Non-Fiction (Ira Glass)
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler (E.L. Konigsburg)
Case Histories (Kate Atkinson)
The Glass Menagerie (Tennessee Williams)

Music a day like this day would appreciate:

Patsy Cline
Neko Case
Dolly Parton
Ray LaMontagne
Ruben Gonzalez
Rufus Wainwright
Rogue Wave
Stevie Wonder
The Smiths
They Might Be Giants
U2 (Joshua Tree only)

Food a day like this could appreciate:

White rice
Fried polenta cakes
Blood oranges
Jelly beans
Callebaut hot chocolate (found only at Trophy's)
My mom's Chinese food
Justin's dad's homemade bread
The cheeseburgers at Atlas
McDonald's fries
Carrot soup
Chocolate mousse

By the way, that new Dolly Parton album is pretty good. I don't know what unspeakable acts I'm going to have to perform in order to attend her Backwoods Barbie Tour, but I'll do anything. She's like 104, so this might be my only chance.

While looking for a good Dolly picture for this blog, I stumbled upon one of the best sites ever--a site proclaiming Dolly to be a Satanist!


Crazy Biatch writes: "In an interview by Rick Clark, Dolly Parton revealed that she is NO Christian. I do not write articles to be unkind, but out of necessity to expose those who masquerade as Christians. Anyone who knows anything about the history of rock-n-roll knows that the band Led Zeppelin is Satanic to the core. Dolly is
correct in thinking Stairway to Heaven is a spiritual song, but it's of the spirit of Satan, not God. Stairway to Heaven is Satanic to the core. Music is one of the most powerful mediums through which Satan works. John Denver said, 'Music is more powerful than Christianity.' The sinful flesh loves Devilish music...music which has a rock-'n-roll beat and worldly lyrics. Most often, the Holy Spirit of God is ignored and shunned away by hardened hearts."


That tear was from laughter, not sadness. Knowing that Dolly is doing the work of Satan brings joy to my heart, joy that sounds like Satanic music sung by Jimmy Page. I think I'll add Led Zeppelin to the list of music I want to hear today. 'When the Levee Breaks', 'That's the Way'--something churchy. If I listen to that while reading Mark Twain (a blatant atheist), I might go to Hell tomorrow.

Mark Twain quotes a day like this would laugh at:

"If Christ were here now, there is one thing he would not be: a Christian."

"'In God We Trust'. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true."

"If there is a God, he is a maligned thug."

The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies."

"Faith is believing something you know ain't true."


Manthony said...

Just so you know, I made Jambalaya today and it worked out pretty well too. (Don't get too excited, it was out of a box.)

Also, the word verification term right now is "briqok." I'm not entirely sure what that would mean if it was a word. But it doesn't sound good.

Marko said...

Mark Twain rox!

How cool is your blog? Who knew?! I should have went here months ago!!

How are you sweetness?

Snotty McSnotterson said...

My blog is THAT COOL, I knew, and I wasn't here months ago.

Also, I am fine. :)

YOU rock.

Bobby said...

I'm playing Led Zeppelin III right now and 'That's The Way' is a great song. I've now moved on to another 'evil' song off of III called 'Tangerine', the name alone strikes fear and is obviously devilish. Zeppelin is still my favorite band by far, though I guess poor old Bonham's down below.