Jun 20, 2008

Flowery Goodness

Photo: This isn't the actual shirt, but the Esq would say it was close.

My favorite thing about the Esq's job is Casual Friday; I've never worked in that kind of setting before (downtown law firm), so I consider it an arcane, corporate thing. Last Friday he was unsure just how casual he should be ("if only I had a brightly-colored Hawaiian shirt"), so he ended up wearing normal work clothes. People in the office actually treated it like Casual Friday--jeans, t-shirts, sneakers--so last night, we started searching for something "casual" for the Esq. Now I know my own man; he is not the Casual Friday type. I know if he's working, he likes to wear work attire, and if he's chilling, he likes to be comfortable; Casual Friday has the feeling--or expectation--of both: being at work, chilling. That's just setting yourself up for failure, if you ask me.

When Kyle (my old roommate) moved to DC, he left behind some clothes he either didn't want, or forgot; I always felt he had good taste in clothing, stylish but not super gay (this is how I might describe Kyle), so I grabbed the pile. We found some cute shirts, put them in the closet, and forgot about them. Until last night.

I was rummaging through the back of the Esq's closet, and found a really cool shirt. I implored the Esq to try it on. He was dubious.

Me: What about this?
Esq: It's a little gay.
Me: What? No, it isn't. It's cool.
Esq: It looks like a shirt a gay cowboy eating pudding would wear.
Me: What?!
Esq: I'm just saying, a gay cowboy eating pudding is what I think of when I see that shirt.
Me: I see. Well, will you try it on?
Esq: Maybe.... (starts putting it on) see the snaps? And the cowboy-esque design? And the... is this a flower pattern? Yeah, this is why I didn't want to wear the shirt.
Me: It's not flowers... it's a bush!
Esq: A bush that's flowering.
Me: Whatever, I think it's hot.
Esq: You should see it in the light... (we walk towards our bedroom)
Esq: See? Yeah, its--
Me: --it's indie! It's artistic! I love it. It's fancy.
Esq: And you don't think that those are words you might use to describe a homosexual? Artistic and fancy?!
Me: Hey, I also said 'indie', like indie rocker.
Esq: Right. 'Indie' being another word for 'homo'.
Me: This is going in my blog.
Esq: Besides (rips shirt open) what if the shirt just snaps right open?
Me: You'd be wearing a t-shirt underneath!
Esq: Ah.
Me: A manly one that says, "I Heart Pussy".
Esq: All of my t-shirts say that.

My favorite part about this story happened this morning, when I woke up to say good-bye to my sweetie, and he was wearing the shirt anyway. Tucked into his jeans. With brown shoes. He's gaying up Casual Friday, but only from the waist up. I was so proud.

Two other Esq conversations I wrote down that were funny:

Carley: At least men are good for something.
Me: (nods) Killing spiders.
Carley: And penis!
Me: *shakes head*
Carley: (looks at Esq) No penis?!
Esq: Actually, that's what I kill the spiders with.


Last night we were playing Mad Libs online, and this is what happened:

Me: Okay, give me a noun.
Esq: Morality.
Me: What? A noun?
Esq: What do you think it is?
Me: A sham. What do you think morality is?
Esq: A noun.


I heart Mad Libs, and my man's comedic timing. It gets me through the day--no, it gets me through life. And I need to go get dressed so I can have another serving of Life with a side of Life, aka Work Work and More Work. Working 40 hours a week sucks when half of it is spent twiddling my thumbs, but don't get me started. I'm taking a good attitude with me to work today, and then beating people about the face with it; a positive attitude is always contagious.


Manthony said...

I can't wait for somebody to smack me upside the head with a positive attitude. I'm ready. READY!

Timo said...

"Indie" does not mean gay. it's much closer to Hippie.

FreNeTic said...

If you're brave enough to kill spiders with your penis, I think you're secure enough for a flowered shirt. ;)

Raevn's Ravings said...

I must meet this, how you say, Esquire? You guys sound like a comedy duo from hell! You should take this shit on the road seriously!!! hahaha!

Snotty McSnotterson said...

We should definitely take this show on the road--all the way to Early Retirement. You should come with!!