Photo: There's a fine line between 'winner' and 'weiner'. A very fine line.
I'm "competing" this year in the Blogger's Choice Awards (Best Humor Blog, unlike last year when I competed in just the Swimsuit Category) against one of my all-time favorite blogs: www.dooce.com. Dooce is run, and written, to near perfection by Heather Armstrong, a self-proclaimed Stay At Home Mom (or SAHM, or Shit Ass Ho Motherfucker--her words). I stumbled across Heather's site one night when I was stalking an old boyfriend online; somehow I made it to her page, and I've never looked back.
This isn't a plea for you to vote for me and not for her; this is a top-level directive that you go directly to the Blogger's Choice Awards webshite, and vote your ass off for me. I was thinking of setting up a Triangle Scheme, where you convince five friends to vote, and they hire ten of their friends to vote, and so on and so forth; then, in the end, I swindle you and keep most of the Tupperware (and all of the votes). But I couldn't make it work--I'm diabolical, but also very sedentary. I'm not going to beat Heather--namely because she has, you know, a cult following and has been doing this for years--but I'm also not going to take a giant beating from some shit ass ho motherfucker. Besides, she's one of my blogging idols; she supports her family through blogging (i.e.; living my dream), and only had to be committed once (true story). Her life must be so cool--think of the drugs she's able to afford!
At the very least, I can beat out The Communist Dance Party... they only have 105 votes so far, and I know at least 106 people (not counting imaginary friends). Plus, we've got a wager going, and I don't want to lose. My thirst for competition has reached an all-time high, in part due to the lack of sweet, sweet nicotine in my life, and partially because of the goddamn heat; so lately, I just want to rip, maim, and eviscerate.
The safest place to do this is online.
If you'd like to help me (or actually think this blog is funny, whereas I find it tragic), vote swiftly like a ninja, and you will eventually be rewarded--although, truthfully, it would be a lot easier for me if you just considered it volunteer work. Remember, no one likes a sore loser, which is why we have to win.
You can find the voting polls HERE! (link updated)
**Addendum: 1. They were having some server problems earlier--of course--so if you can't vote, just vote for me in spirit--thanks, Kiki! 2. I think you have to log in, which totally sucks--so again, spirit-voting is good for me, karmically-speaking...although if you'd like to register, it takes less than one minute and involves one Captcha, and one trip to your email. Just so you know. Thanks, all!